It's Never or Now

Last Thursday, in my post entitled, My Favorite Things - April Edition, I mentioned the song 'Unbreakable', and how I would be expanding my thoughts about it at some point in the future. 

Well, you guessed it. The future is now!

But first, won't you take another listen?

Unbreakable

In the video, it's pretty obvious how Lorelai (from Gilmore Girls) becomes very emotional, very caught up in the words and the meaning behind those words, being sung. 

I, too, can relate.

'I know how everyone else's life

Is supposed to fly by

Then someone turns and says

What about you?

And I stand here

Mouth open

Mind blank...'

My life is flying by - that much is true. With just four months remaining in my thirties, it seems impossible to realize that forty is quite literally, just around the corner. And so the movement, the ebb and flow of each and every day, is escaping me in ways I never imagined. I close my eyes on Friday and open them back up to Monday morning, just like that. 

'This should have all work itself out by now

The map of my life should be clear and precise

With little red dashes and circles so nice

Showing roadblocks

And landmines...'

Very few things are predictable, just like how very few things are actually in our control, regardless of the depths we go to keep them that way. And then we come to the roadblocks and the landmines that we were trying so hard to avoid, and find that we simply don't know how. We can't avoid them or wish them away. There they are.

Death. Divorce. Addiction. Debt. Betrayal. Disappointment.

'Oh, I am not unbreakable

I am breaking right now

Maybe everyone can't have the dream

Maybe everyone can't kiss the frog

Maybe it'll be me and a dog...(Jovie?)

And little stuff dolphins on the floor

And a little dog door

Oh, I am not unbreakable

I am breaking right now

I need to be unbreakable...'

What we want when we are met with the unexpected is to be unbreakable. Unaffected. Uninterested. Anything else but this, Lord...please...anything else.

But that's never how it is...or even how it should be. 

Because life is meant to be felt. To be lived. To experience, and then, eventually, when we feel ready, to move on.

'Somehow...

it's never...or now.'

Are you facing it?  Is it right there, in front of you?  

What is YOUR never...or now?

My Favorite Things - April Edition

It's that time again, my friends!  Time for My Favorite Things - April Edition!  If you missed the March edition, check out that post here.

These are some things I've been loving lately ~

I just picked up a bag of these Sriracha & Lime Pretzel Crisps, and while I had a feeling I'd like them, as I bit into them the heavens parted and I thought, where have you been all my life?  They're the perfect balance between spicy and limey (not a word, I know).  Take them to your next get-together, or just sit at home, eating directly out of the bag, like I do.

Ladies, are you looking for a lightweight cardigan to throw on when you're at work, or out running errands? These cardigan's from Amazon are perfect for just those occasions.  I have them in four different colors and for as many times as I've washed them, they've held up very well. And the price isn't bad either!

A couple of weekends ago, I re-watched Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life for, well, let's just say it's been more than once.  Towards the end of the 'Summer' episode, Lorelai walks into Miss Patty's (watch the show) to hear this song being sung.  Gah!  I adore it.  I'm not going to go into great detail about why in this particular post, but mark my words, a post will be coming.  For now, just listen.  And enjoy.  

I recently purchased this dual wall charger about a month ago and it's been so handy to have.  Now I can plug in both my phone and my watch without taking up two outlets.  How many of you have kids with multiple devices, and the family, as a whole?  This is a space saver, for sure!  And, it's only eight dollars!   

Well, friends!  I hope you've enjoyed this edition of My Favorite Things!  I'll see you back here next month!

Me, too

It's been just over seven months already since I penned my first blog post here on this page.  Timid and with trepidation, I took the leap.  Finally.  After years of dreaming...to doing.

The premise behind 'Me, too' has been to share the pieces of my life - the pieces that are whole and complete and the pieces that are broken and somewhat crumbling - so that you might be able to relate in a variety of ways.  I truly hope that has been your experience as you've journeyed along with me thus far.

I often wonder, though, if I'm too open, too vulnerable, too willing to expose my flaws.  Maybe I cross that line of perceived perfection with an overabundance of vigor, too eager to show you my weaknesses.  Yet as soon as I cross over from the land of I-am-perfect-and-everything-is-fine to the land of I-can-barely-keep-my-head-above-water, my eyes become clear, my breathing less-labored, and up ahead, I catch a glimpse of freedom.  Sweet freedom.  Earned and deserved...freedom.



In the end, I will never apologize for being too human.  Because there is no such thing.  Just like there is no such thing as being too compassionate or too humble, too loving or too kind.  The truth is, we can show our weakness and still be strong.  We can tear down our walls while we build each other up.  We can cry and scream or curl up in a ball if we have to.  We don't have to pretend. Isn't that liberating?  We can leave the land of make-believe and, yes, still be accepted. 

Can you do that?  Can you leave that land behind?

l will continue to show you who I really am. 

And I will be waiting right here for when you want to do the same.   



Breathe in. Breathe out. Decide.

It's finally time, don't you think?  Time to throw it all up into the air to see what remains by your side and what falls away?

Are you living your very best life?

Maybe your answer is yes.  Maybe it's no.  

Or maybe it's...not quite yet.  

It's time to decide what it is you really want.

Decide to live your life the way you want to live it, as different as that might look from the life you're living today, right now.

Because this is all we have.  This one, beautiful, God-given life.  Regardless of the ups and downs, it is a gift.

Use it.  Live it.  As such.

Give them power

Power. 

 

My mind is like a steady volley on a sweltering summer day of a tennis court; back and forth without fail between the thoughts, ideas, and feelings that I willingly give power to.  I wake up early in the morning with one thought on my mind, but by the time my feet hit the cold, hardwood floor, mere seconds later, something else entirely has popped into my head.

 

We often give power to those thoughts that take hold of us; thoughts of sadness or jealousy, anger and worry.  Thoughts that, whether we realize it or not, keep us prisoners within our very own bodies, when, ironically, if we are in control of any one thing in particular, it's what we choose to focus on.

 

Therein lies the paradox of life.     

 



What are you giving your mind's power to?  What are you allowing to occupy such a valuable and beautiful space?  Are you being led forward by those thoughts, or are they, in fact, preventing you from taking the next step? 

Philippians 4:8, says ~
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is just, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worth of praise, think about these things.

True.
Noble.
Right.
Just.
Lovely.
Commendable.
Excellence.
Praise.

I don't know about you, but if my mind would begin and end each day with these?

Wow. 

Now that's what I call power.

Love Is.

I had the most beautiful dream last night...

about love.

Encompassing, all-deserving, more than worthy of,
hold-it-so-tight-and-don't-let-it-go...

Love.

I've held tightly to love, in life, and found it.

I've also held tightly to love, in life, and lost it.  

But love fought for, and still lost, remains love.  It existed. 

Love will always surround me in some way.  

Friends, family, pets.  I'm catapulted forward the minute I want to stay put. Graciously, the path ahead is brilliant and bright by the light of their love.  They lead the way. 

If I find I cannot, then yes, they will always lead the way.

Love wraps itself around me and says, no, my friend, you cannot rewrite the past.  But you can being again.

You must.

Begin again.

It whispers in my ear, take the love you have learned from, and give it away. Pass it on.  Make another person better by your love; worthy.

Because that's what love does.

It makes us better.

It teaches us.

It confirms what we already know.  

Love is.  

And then ever so gently, it coaxes us to spread out our wide, love-filled wings...

and fly.

Fly to where such love is found.  The place where the same love we can offer, is received.

Where?

Everywhere.  Look around you.  It's everywhere.

Love, 
me.

These two.

There are people in life who simply put up with dogs living on this planet with them.  Then there are those people who like dogs, but don't want to go so far as having one of their own. Next up are the people who love their dogs, but solely as furry, dedicated companions who are nice to have around.  

And then...there are the rest of us.  

You know the ones?  Those people who are over-the-top infatuated with their four-legged friends?  The people who are borderline-obsessed, who take picture after picture and who just won't.stop.talking. about their dog?  

Yep, I fall into that category.  I free-fall, in fact, (directly into a pool of puppies, please)!  

No apologies.

When I first met this little guy, I thought, hmm...I could probably grow to like you, I suppose, even as he chewed ferociously on my jacket.  #chance 

  

As life progressed, that's just what happened.  My adoration for this sweet and sassy boy grew larger than I ever thought possible.  

And then before I knew it, this precious girl caught my attention. With the epitome of puppy-dog-eyes, she all but begged me to be her mom.  I said yes. #jovie  

For a stubborn heart that was forever against having any pets at all, I discovered that it was more than capable of loving these two.

Just by their very existence, my life has changed.  

I've carried on countless conversations with my fur-kids, certain that even if they don't understand what I'm saying, they sure are great listeners.  

I've cleaned up their messes and rubbed their tummies when they didn't feel good.  

I've snuggled them close and taken them for car rides.  

I've listened to them snore and then kick at me in bed during a dream.  

I've rubbed their paws and held their faces close to mine. 

And, yes, I've even had to say goodbye.

But through it all, they have given of themselves so much more than I've given them, without even realizing it. 

They've licked away my tears.  They've made me laugh.  

And oh...how they've taught me to love.

 

Nope, they're not just dogs.  

They're family.

My Favorite Things - March Edition

Welcome to the March-edition of My Favorite Things!  Take a look at this list and maybe some of my favorite things will become some of your favorite things!

First up is this sound machine.  It was a gift from Santa.

I'm telling you, this is the best thing EVER.  If you like the sound of a fan buzzing in the background while you catch some zzzz's, this is so much better. It's basically white noise, that comes out of a magical little box.  It helps to drown out all the background distractions that prevent you from falling asleep. Now, I don't know if Santa bought it on Amazon, but you can purchase your own by clicking on the link above!

Do you have an Apple watch?  Are you tired of the same old silicone band that it came with and want some to match your changing outfits?  Amazon to the rescue again!  These bands are so durable and so soft.  Plus, you can't beat the price.

For all you coffee k-cup lovers out there, I have a delicious dark roast that you must try.  Verena Street Coffee is a local company to my area and their Nine Mile Sunset flavor is so nice and smooth.  Add a dash of creamer or drink it plain - either way! Plus, a lot of k-cups run around eighty cents a piece, but these are only forty-seven cents...for EIGHTY of them!  Winner winner!    

If you're looking for a significant and meaningful book to read, look no further than The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom.  At just one hundred and ninety-six pages, it's a quick read that will pack a punch to your emotions.  Such a beautiful, life-affirming story.

I've mentioned her before, but one of my favorite authors is Brene Brown.  She's a researcher who has really delved into the subject of vulnerability, while destroying the myth that being vulnerable equals being weak.  Her first TED talk has been viewed over 1.5 million times and it's one of my favorites. In it she's quoted as saying, "When you ask people about love, they tell you about heartbreak." (sigh)  Take twenty minutes out of your day today and see what it's all about.

Hope you enjoyed this edition of My Favorite Things!  

Are you confused?

"We do the things that we believe are most important.
The problem is, sometimes we're confused about what's most important."
- Resisting Happiness, by Matthew Kelly

The above is a quote from a video led by Catholic author, Matthew Kelly, regarding prayer.  I had to pause the video for a moment when he said those words because I could so easily relate.  But what was most interesting to me about the video is that he talked about going to mass and how, anymore, we seem to find all sorts of excuses why not to go.  I'm too busy, or I just want to sleep in, or I have other things I need to get done, seem to top the list.  And as he says in his book, Resisting Happiness, we are continuously doing the opposite of what we know will make us happy.  For instance, I love to write, but wouldn't you know it, I will choose first to attack my lingering to-do list before I sit down at my computer. Why is that?  Why is attending mass, or praying daily, something we put off as well?  

Tell me.  When was the last time you walked out of mass and said, gosh, I feel so unhappy right now; I really wish I hadn't gone to mass.  I suppose it's the same for exercising or setting our cell phones down to play a game with our kids. We choose not to do these things, even though we know how happy they will make us.

In Matthew's video, he asks this question.  What if we knew that if we went to mass each and every week, we would find one thousand dollars inside of a song book, just waiting for us?  How often, do you think, would we miss attending?

(gulp)

What would be your answer?  Without a doubt, I would be there! Wouldn't you?  What does that say about us?  What does that say about our priorities? What does that say about what we deem most important?

How are you confusing what's most important?  

Or better yet, answer this - what is most important?

(If you'd like to watch the video I referred to, please click here.)

(And if you'd like to pick up a copy of Matthew's book, Resisting Happiness, here's where you can find it.)

Thy Will Be Done

Thy Will Be Done.

These are four of the most beautiful words ever to cross my eyes, and four of the most challenging to accept into my beating and broken heart.

When I say the prayer of the Our Father and proclaim, 'Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done', I softly close my eyes in reverence to their splendor.  

Thy will...not mine.  

And not just when it's convenient for me or when it fits into my plans, but every second of every day. 

Thy Will Be Done.

So many aspects of my life feel as if they have spiraled out of control, leaving me wounded and backed into a corner.  I begin to compare my misfortunes to other people's blessings and I claim a spirit of jealousy and desperation for what I do not have, but believe I deserve.  I say in a fit of panic and with a constricted heart, but I did all I was supposed to do...so why this, God?  Why this pain?  I tell myself that I know what is best for me.

But then I speak the words...

Thy Will Be Done.  

You see, regardless of how hard we try, we are ill-suited to determine what is best for our lives.  We cannot assume that every broken road will lead to darkness.  Because the night always turns into day and with each day, comes light. We have to believe there is a greater plan.

Do you?

Every time I listen to the following song, I can't help but cry. Not because of sadness, but because of the knowing realization that, ah, yes.

Not my will...but His...be done.

Thy Will

"Sometimes I better stop, remember that you're God, and I...am...not."
- Thy Will, Hillary Scott

Follow the Leader

Did you ever play the game, Follow the Leader, in grade school or with friends, when you were little? The premise of the game is to choose someone to be the leader, or placed at the "head of the line", with the remainder of the children lining up behind that selected person.  The leader then moves around the room and all the other children have to mimic their actions. Whether it's swerving between different objects or making all sorts of hand gestures, the goal is to keep up the pace with the leader.

Our lives tend to look a little bit like this from time to time as well.  We're hesitant to step out of our own comfort zone, afraid to be seen and heard, regardless of how important being seen and heard is to us.  So we stay close to home, curled up where we feel most comfortable and wait for the others to make the first move.  We prefer someone else to be the leader and then, maybe, if we feel so inclined, we might decide to fall into step behind them.

What if we didn't live this way, though?  What if were so bold, so fearless, so eager to make our stance known that hiding behind all the others wasn't an option?

And what if, because of our courage, people started to make worthy changes toward what they believed in as well?  What if we were all working towards the same goals of positivity and compassion and love?    

Would the world change?  

Yes, I do think it would.

Favorite Things - February Edition

Welcome to the February edition of my Favorite Things!  If you'd like to check out my favorites from January, check them out here.

* First up - these are some of the most comfortable ballet flats I've ever owned.  (And does anyone else find it ironic that they're also called - Me too?!)  But really, sooo comfortable.  I wear them pretty much all year round; with dress pants, jeans and capris.  Pick yourself up a pair!  You can find them here.

* If you haven't jumped on the bandwagon yet with the rest of the world and watched the newest show, This Is Us, we can no longer be friends.  You guys, this show.  It's all sorts of amazingness, I'm telling you!  It's beautiful and meaningful, funny and enlightening.  Absolute perfection.

* Essential oils seem to be all the rage these days, and I enjoy them just as much as the next person. My favorite smell of all is peppermint and it really can do wonders for aches and pains and headaches. Plus, it doesn't hurt that it resembles the smell of a spa -  nice and relaxing.  I was reading something the other day that suggested putting a small amount of your favorite oil in a water bottle and at then at the end of your morning or evening shower, spray some around and above you to give you a nice, warm, calming effect.  I've been doing it now for over a week and I must say, it does what it says!

* If you've ever wondered about the Catholic mass and why we do what we do (sit, stand, kneel), along with the theology surrounding and behind the parts of the mass, I highly encourage you to read, A Biblical Walk Through the Mass by Edward Sri. I promise that it won't put you to sleep or be too difficult to comprehend.  It is a book, however, that will really put into perspective how vital the mass is to our faith journey.  Pick up your own copy of the book here.

 

* And finally, I am obsessed with these cell phone stands.  Not only do I have two of them myself, but I've given them away as gifts.  They're perfect for watching shows on your phone, scrolling, responding to texts, etc.  I have one at work and one in my bathroom, where I watch Gilmore Girls evvvvvvery morning while getting ready for work.  Nice and handy to have around! Amazon has them, of course!  

That's all for February, my friends!  

Now, what are some of your favorite things?

Value

We're conditioned in this life to adapt and change as necessary.  We adapt our mood and attitude, depending on who we are having a conversation with or the situations we find ourselves in.  We adapt at work and around family and friends.  Every day is a series of adaptations.  From one moment to the next, we do what we can to accept what's been given.

The one situation in life, however, where there is an exception to that rule is when it comes to love. 

Relationships are about two people coming together, flaws and imperfections alike, so, yes, there will always need to be compromises from one person to another.  But there's a difference between compromising in everyday situations and then compromising who are you are.

I don't know why it is, but it seems as if we're constantly accepting less for ourselves and our well-being, but then we chide others for living lives less than they deserve.  

The same rules should apply.  

Accept nothing more than what you would wish for another.

In life and especially, in love.

Heart

In sacred scripture, in the book of Genesis, it reads: 

"When the LORD saw how great was man’s wickedness on earth, and how no desire that his heart conceived was ever anything but evil, he regretted that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was grieved." ~ Genesis 6: 5-6

His heart was grieved.  Grieved.  

I was taken aback when I read this because so often, we think of God only in large, looming terms.  We know He is all-powerful, and all-knowing, so quite often, we choose to hold Him at arms-length; a little afraid, a little intimidated.

Yet we know from this very scripture that He is more than capable of grieving. Just like Jesus, when his friend Lazarus died, was capable of deep, deep sadness.  

What desires is your heart conceiving?    

How have you grieved the Lord?  

Because He is not in the least at arms-length, my friends.  He is beside you and within you. And He will not fail you.  

Therefore, tell me, how much more beautiful would this scripture be if it read this way:

Let us not grieve the heart of our Lord.  

May our hearts, and His, be fulfilled.