Worthy

Worthy now.

There's a conversation that rattles around in my head, almost on a daily basis.  And it goes something like this:

When I lose weight...

When I'm on my own...

When I have more money...

When I have the time...

Sound like anything you've ever whispered to yourself?  Have those same thoughts ever rattled around in your head before?   

Well, what if we were to change the dynamic of that conversation, from someday to today?

Worthy now.

Because if we were to hold these same thoughts up against the truth of being worthy, they would end up sounding something like this:

When I lose weight...I will be worthy.

When I'm on my own...I will be worthy.

When I have more money...I will be worthy.

When I have the time...I will be worthy.

Different, right?  My present-self wants to take a step backwards when I hear these words.  

So, why do we do this to ourselves?  Why do we insist on the narrative of...Only If?  Why will I do everything in my power to convince you that you are beautiful just as you are, but I am unable to look into a mirror and see anything but  wrinkles and a full-face?  Tell me...why do we hold each other's hearts in our most precious and fragile hands, but refuse to hold our own beating heart with the exact same love and respect?

When will we accept that our worthiness is not conditional?  That it will never be dependent upon the size of our waist, or how much money we have, or whether our kitchen floors are white-glove approved? (And by the way, if you have people in your life who make you feel this way, they are not your people.)  

Being worthy was one of our first gifts when we entered into this world.  But rather than taking great care of our gift, we ask for the receipt.  We hold our gift up to the world's standards and say, no, this is not good, this gift is defective, I want my money back. 

Friends, telling ourselves that we will only be worthy When, is like saying precious and lasting memories will never exist without pictures.  It's simply not true.   

In reality, we exist and we live and we breathe...because.  

Because we are loved.  

Because we are chosen.  

Because we are worthy.

Worthy now.