As we mature and continue to grow into adults with lives of consistent change and complexity, it doesn’t seem to get any better. In fact, we’re not only unsatisfied with the simple answers now, but we’ve become unfulfilled with more detailed explanations as well. No answer is good enough.
Why is that? <--- see what I did there?
It’s become increasingly apparent to me that we tend to run ourselves ragged with all the questions, and never more evident then when standing in the face of tragedy.
Think back to that time in your life, or maybe you’re waist-deep in the depths of sorrow today, when you threw out that question of “why” in complete and total anguish, in bitter tears, or maybe even in uncomfortable silence. You grabbed hold of that word and you ground it into your pillow at night, you held your fists up in the air in angst and exasperation, or you fell to your knees in absolute despair. You willed it to reply, but it never did.
When it comes to tragedy ~ We. Want. Answers.
Can you relate?
I’ve thought about this at length because I, too, have experienced that raw, I-will-do-anything-to-avoid-this-pain, tragedy in my life many times. And in that pit of hopelessness, we are full of questions. We reach out to friends and family and ask for prayers, yet simultaneously demand from God to know His plan; the why's and the how’s. We lash out in anger towards Him, all the while pleading for His mercy and grace. We do everything we can to pull Him towards us…and then when we can't hear His voice, we turn our backs to Him.
But I can’t help but wonder…if God were truly forthcoming with all of the answers to our burning questions, would we really be able to let it go? If the end result was the same, would any answer satisfy us? Would we be able to accept His reasoning once and for all? Or would we continue to question? All of these questions are a futile attempt to control our lives; to hold strong, to mold our life into this idea of what we think it should look like; what we always imagined it would be. And then when tragedy is hurled at us, as it usually is, we’re knocked off our feet, off the path that was OUR plan.
Know this, friends. We cannot manipulate God’s plan to Our plan. Sometimes, no matter the answer, our human minds simply cannot grasp His reasoning on this side of heaven.
Will it all make sense one day? I believe so; at least that’s my prayer…for my pain…and for yours. In the meantime, we must remember this:
There’s your answer.